The Rural Juror

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My personal record of how my life is. I will look back one day and say, "I really said some dumb shit".

    Just when things start to go well.

    Things have been good for me lately. I’ve not got epilepsy and I get my cadetship/job back in July and everything with Jeremy and I is great. Except I got the text I’ve been dreading for a few weeks this morning.

    One of my closest and oldest friends let me know that her mother passed away last night.

    It broke me. The other girl that was in our group, her mother had passed away two years ago. And it seems unfair, because these women were normal and had loving children and husbands. They were also like my other family when I was going through high school.

    It makes me sad because of so many reasons. I lost it today after I had softball practice. On the way home in the car, I just cried and cried because everyone asked me what kind of nurse I wanted to be, and I said oncology. And it made me think of her mum, and how she got cancer and it broke my heart.

    She’d always laugh at my jokes, and for years she was my second mother. I spent so many weekends sleeping over my friends house, and she was always just there. I never truly understand how much I love someone that way until something happens. And now it has, I am heart broken.

    I just let my friend know I am here for her, and that’s all I can really do. She’s so much like me in terms of emotional things, so I know she and her family need their space.

    But the thing that gets to me the most, is I won’t be able to say my goodbye to her, and be there for my friend. I’m going away to softball on Wednesday, and the funeral is on Thursday. This sounds incredibly selfish, but I can’t not go. I’ve made my commitment to the team. But I’ve also made my commitment in being her friend for eight years. This sucks so much.

    Life is incredibly unfair to the nicest people.

    — 2 years ago with 1 note
    #death  #love  #dying  #best friend  #jokes  #family  #friends  #cancer  #funeral  #softball 
    1. super-bluntsunday posted this