The Rural Juror

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My personal record of how my life is. I will look back one day and say, "I really said some dumb shit".

    A Letter to Myself at 16

    Dear 16-year-old Mariah,

    I’m writing to you from the not so distant future, as I turned 19 a few months ago and I believe that if you had this knowledge that you have now, things may have turned out better for you.

    Right now you’ll be in grade 12, studying towards your QCE and playing softball so much you have a constant stench. But that’s okay. I know you love how school makes you feel and that you’re working your butt off in one subject to kick some serious ass! You need to know that it’s okay to not be the best at everything (even though you did beat some serious ass). Because accepting the fact that you will not be as wonderful and smart and switched on as your were in high school will make things a lot easier in the real world. Trust me.

    You go through a pretty cruisy time throughout grade 12 and the summer that follows. You only drink once or twice, and the second time was a doozy. Warning: DO NOT GET DRUNK AT THAT PARTY! When the time comes, you’ll know which one that is, on account of having a shitty day and work was bad and people around you were not very nice. But trust me, you will love yourself more if you don’t get drunk. Just have one or two, get buzzed and have fun. That’s what life as a teenager is about: just having fun. In saying that, 2010 is pretty much alcohol free.

    I know you think you’re saving yourself for Josh Hutcherson, but let’s face it, he is an American actor who will get girls 209457024657043298 times better than you. So man up and meet people! You meet these two boys, who are friends, and you grow close to them. But maybe let them know your intentions and make sure you are clear. Because one asks you out and the other starts to hate you for it. And then you lose them both, SO THINK ABOUT IT!

    There’s not any interest from boys, really. You start to talk to this one boy a lot. And you two are very fond of each other. Even make plans for a road trip. But you play the good friend and listen to him and when his ex comes back, shit gets weird. Tell him that you’ll still be his friend, and if he misses that girl, give her chance. You regret it for a while, a long time actually, until you meet the one.

    Jeremy comes into your life, and it makes things feel wonderful because it was just when you felt like you would be alone forever. He’s smart and handsome and funny and sweet and wonderful. He’s everything you could ever imagine you want in a boy. And you stay in each other’s lives for a long time. And the first night he tells you he loves you, say it straight back, because you know you feel it you just didn’t want to sound forced or desperate!!

    Work hard at Uni, because when you’re on placement you realise how much you love it. You love helping people and believe that is your calling in life. Mariah, you have the potential to do great and wonderful things in this life, you just need to work hard and remember how good it feels to help someone.

    Just before you meet Jeremy, you work at the hospital and witness a little girl lose her life. It’s hard, and let me tell you, it doesn’t get easier. But you just need to talk it out and cry and remember how lucky you are to be here today.

    Wow, I’ve been talking for a while. I’ll guess I stop. But I just want you to remember one thing: you are Mariah Delrain Pagett, and no one can ever tell you to be anything that you’re not. You’ll know what I mean once you turn 18.

    All my love, and best wishes kiddo,

    Mariah ♥ xo

    — 2 years ago with 1 note
    #16  #letter  #myself  #letter  #dear me  #jeremy  #love  #hospital  #girl  #die  #friends  #awkward  #softball  #like  #cute  #josh hutcherson 
    1. super-bluntsunday posted this